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Ke Dezemba, boss! We’re finally in the silly season, and if you’re anywhere in the country currently experiencing this heatwave, we hope you’re staying cool and hydrated. Speaking of cool, do you like your ice fancy? Then Woolies has got you covered. Find out what people had to say about its “private school ice.”
Meanwhile, our politics are anything but cool. The DA is pulling PR stunts over the BELA Bill, and President Cyril Ramaphosa isn’t pleased. Over in the land of the (progressively less) free and the home of the (questionably) brave, the incoming president has warned BRICS countries to forget de-dollarisation while the outgoing president has pardoned his son even after promising not to interfere in his case.
Back home, we look at snacks we’ve lost, like Tempo and Maltabella. We also examine Minister Thembi Simelane’s redeployment despite calls for her dismissal. Finally, we find God in the machine and explore how the normally sane South Korea was plunged into chaos this week after its president declared martial law for all of six hours.
So, let’s dive into your weekly update of empowering and easy-to-understand news, brought to you by Verashni Pillay and the explain.co.za team. 😄
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▁ ▂ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ OUR TAKE: The DA’s attempt to claim a PR victory over Bela failed.
This past week, a very odd political wrangle took place over the contested Basic Education Laws Amendment (BELA) Act.
We’ve told you about the act before—it overhauls outdated aspects of the education system. However, two contested clauses concerning language and school governing bodies’ powers have been put on pause until 31 December.
Critics of the two clauses, mostly Afrikaans rights organisations and the DA (whose minister heads up Basic Education and boycotted the bill’s signing), are scrambling to reach an agreement within the Government of National Unity. Still, their latest attempt was more PR than a real political solution.
As we told you last week, Basic Education Minister Siviwe Gwarube made quite the announcement, saying she’d reached an agreement to delay implementation of the contested section till 2026, while certain standards and regulations were put in place. If true, it would have been an astounding victory.
The trouble is, no one else got the memo.
Gwarube said a settlement had been reached at the National Economic Development and Labour Council (Nedlac) between her department and Afrikaans trade union, Solidarity on Wednesday.
However, Nedlac is a forum to bring together all parties around a matter. In this case, only two were present, and crucially, no one else in the already divided GNU nor other trade unions representing more black teachers were present – or even knew about this meeting.
Shortly after the announcement broke, President Cyril Ramaphosa and his deputy Paul Mashatile refuted the development, noting that the GNU “clearing house” – a mechanism where decisions about government are made—has the final say.
The DA, since joining Ramaphosa’s cabinet, have been adept at using their ministries to announce quick wins. Gwarube and Solidarity’s process at Nedlac may have aimed at such a win, but it appears to be dead in the water thanks to its lack of consultation.
The latest on all this drama is that Solidarity CEO Dirk Hermann said today that their agreement with Gwarube is legally binding and that his movement would go to court if Ramaphosa proceeded with full implementation of the bill come the end of the month. 👀
The clock is ticking. Let’s see who wins this game of political chicken.
▁ ▂ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ BIG STORY: Trump has serious beef with BRICS. Here’s what’s happening.
US President-elect Donald Trump began his December by threatening BRICS countries over their long-discussed plan to reduce reliance on the US Dollar in international trade. He tweeted this past weekend that any nation pushing for a BRICS currency would face 100% tariffs – taxes imposed on goods imported from those countries into the US. “They can go find another sucker!” he added.
Recap: BRICS is a bloc that includes Brazil, Russia, India, China, and South Africa. It was established in 2006 to counterbalance Western dominance in global institutions. SA joined in 2010, and this year, Egypt, Ethiopia, Iran, and the UAE also came on board, with more states interested in joining.
Last year Brazil’s President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva revived the idea of a shared BRICS currency to reduce exchange rate vulnerabilities to the dollar. At this year’s summit in Russia, the country’s president, Vladimir Putin, unveiled a mock banknote featuring member state flags.💰
But experts say it may never happen – with 80% of the world trading in the dollar, it’s a tall order.
SA’s government also quickly shot down the idea of a common BRICS currency following Trump’s tantrum. The Department of International Relations and Cooperation released a statement noting BRICS members are focused on using their own national currencies for trade—not creating a new one. “Recent misreporting has led to the incorrect narrative that BRICS is planning a new currency,” it said.
Still, analysts like William Gumede argue there’s merit in “de-dollarising” global trade. Using the dollar as the sole reserve currency leaves developing nations vulnerable to US economic policies and crises we have no control over. However, Gumede notes a full transition would take decades—it took 50 years for the dollar to replace the pound.
We’re not the only ones at risk. Trump has said ”tariffs” are his favourite word. He wants to use them to protect US businesses by making foreign imports very expensive. He’s already threatened to impose tariffs on the US’s three biggest trading partners: 25% for Mexico and Canada and 10% for China. But economists say this will cause huge issues – particularly for US consumers.
▁ ▂ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ BRIEFS
Woolies’ bougie ice: A chill tale of private school energy
Move over caviar dreams and champagne problems; there’s a new luxury flex in town – ice cubes. Yes, you heard right. Woolworths, South Africa’s high-end grocery darling, has added Drakensberg Natural Spring Water Ice to its shelves, and social media is losing its collective chill.🧊🧊
For just R29.95, you, too, can enjoy these artisanally frozen water blocks. Forget your average tray; these cubes claim to elevate your G&T game, promising “minimal dilution.” It’s the ice equivalent of a private school – preppy, expensive, and maybe unnecessary. But hey, it’s perfect for that “soft life” aesthetic. Just imagine captioning your Instagram post: “Stay hydrated, but make it bougie. #WooliesIce.”
Some called out the new development with @corbin_butler tweeting: “This is the very definition of hyperconsumerism.” Others said they weren’t getting their hopes up given their experience of the source product. As @bhubaza asked Woolworths in a tweet: “Babe, did you make your ice using the woolies still water? Because that water is terrible my love.” Burn!
But most hailed the new development, saying they wouldn’t have to stop at the garage for ice after a Woolies shop, as the retailer didn’t previously offer ice. And as South African comedian Rory Petzer noted, Woolies aisles are already so cold that the “ice won’t melt in your trolley as you shop around”. 😂
It’s not the first time Woolies has pushed the envelope of luxury essentials. This is the brand that gave us a Chuckles-inspired beauty range and hot cross buns in February. But, as always, the controversy only fuels sales. Expect these cubes to become a party essential faster than you can say, “Woolies aisle three.”
So, will you be splurging on these status-symbol ice cubes? Or sticking to the good old bag from your local BP? Either way, the internet has spoken, and this chill moment is officially hot.
Ramaphosa quietly rehomes corruption-accused Simelane
On Tuesday night, President Cyril Ramaphosa oversaw a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cabinet reshuffle, swapping the embattled Thembi Simelane from the Department of Justice and Constitutional Development with her colleague at the Department of Human Settlements, Mmamoloko Kubayi.
His decision may have something to do with Simelane’s alleged involvement in the VBS Mutual Bank scandal, where R2 billion vanished from depositors’ accounts. Many of those depositors were pensioners and struggling municipalities that needed that money.
Simelane, the former mayor of Polokwane, allegedly received a loan for over half a million rands from Gundo Wealth Solutions back in 2016. The problem? Around the same time, the company’s owner received R24 million in kickbacks, according to forensic investigations. This was allegedly for helping VBS nab over R300 million worth of questionable deposits from Polokwane Municipality. Yep, the very municipality Simelane was in charge of at the time.
Critics believe Simelane got a slice of that pie.
A recent report by News24 and The Daily Maverick also found that she started to live luxuriously less than two years after Simelane received the contentious loan. The report found that her spending habits increased, with Simelane spending 569% more than her annual income.
In her previous role as minister of justice Simelane oversaw the National Prosecuting Authority, which is investigating and prosecuting those involved in the collapse of VBS. That glaring conflict of interest may have prompted the reshuffle.
But Ramaphosa’s decision to reassign rather than dismiss Simelane has drawn sharp criticism. Opposition parties, particularly the DA, have called for her outright removal. “She doesn’t belong in Cabinet, end of story,” said the DA, while political watchdog Freedom Under Law expressed concerns about the message this sends on corruption and governance.
Predictably, the uMkhonto we Sizwe Party has defended Simelane. We know where she could find a political home next if needed. 👀
Ultimately Ramaphosa’s decision was a bit of a toothless one. Do better, Mr President. 😒
Prayers for AI Jesus, Notre Dame – and France
It’s that time of the year again when churches pull out their nativity scenes.
But over in Switzerland, they’ve reinvented Jesus – and how you confess your sins.
Peter’s Chapel in Lucerne, Switzerland, has replaced priests in the confession booth with… an artificial intelligence Jesus who speaks over 100 languages. It’s part of an installation, Deus in Machina, in collaboration between the chapel and a local university that seeks to create a “holy experience” for people.
Marco Schmid, a theologian at the chapel, said: “We wanted to see and understand how people react to an AI Jesus. What would they talk with him about? Would there be interest in talking to him?”
This isn’t the first time AI has found itself in church. Last year, a church in Germany held an experimental sermon led entirely by a Chat GPT-powered chatbot.
Maybe one day soon, the Nativity will be all robots away in a digital manger. 😝
But not in France, perhaps.
The Notre Dame, aka Our Lady of Paris, as the cathedral is fondly known, is getting ready to reopen to the public this weekend after five years. In April 2019, the world watched in horror as a fire engulfed the historic church. It cost almost $1 billion to restore – financed almost entirely by donations from around the world. Much of the work was carried out by small, local businesses, often using ancient techniques.
This weekend’s reopening is set to be a hallowed event full of pomp and ceremony, with about 50 heads of state expected to attend.
France will need it, as it faces a political crisis. Its Prime minister, Michel Barnier, is expected to resign today following a historical no-confidence motion. He (and his boss, President Emmanual Macron) have managed to anger both the hard left AND right in the country over next year’s austerity budget. Macron keeps his job but is under pressure. Maybe some Notre Dame prayers would help. We’re not so sure AI Jesus can do much. 😆
South Korea almost had a coup. Here’s what happened.
South Korea was plunged into political chaos this week when its president, Yoon Suk Yeol, declared martial law during a televised late-night address on Tuesday. Parliament forced him to lift it within hours.
According to the leader, he did this to “safeguard the country from “anti-state forces” and “threats posed by North Korea”. While he didn’t provide details of the threats from North Korea, Yoon’s approval rating has been in decline for several months now, and parliament, which is controlled by his opposition, the Democratic Party, has blocked several of his political objectives. He’s also been slammed for dismissing calls for investigations into financial scandals that include him and his wife, Kim Keon Hee.
Martial law usually refers to a power that, in an emergency, allows the military to take the place of the civilian government and exercise jurisdiction over civilians in a particular area, according to The Brennan Center for Justice at New York University School of Law,
Yoon now faces a police investigation for insurrectionist activities and an impeachment vote on Saturday that could see him ousted.
His defence minister, Kim Yong-hyun, who played a key role in the chaotic six-hour period of martial law, has resigned and been replaced.
Myunghee Lee, an expert on authoritarianism, democracy and South Korean politics at Michigan State University, said that Yoon had declared martial law out of anger. “He was angry, and resentful at the opposition blocking him repeatedly. But then again, I can’t read his mind,” she said.
Meanwhile, MSNBC Opinions Editor James Downie said the parallels between South Korea and US politics were “beyond eerie.” Downie praised the South Korean Democratic Party for nipping the martial law declaration in the bud. He said this should be a warning to President-elect Donald Trump and urged the US Democrats to take a leaf out of South Korea’s book.
What happens now? Yoon’s party, the conservative, right-wing People Power Party, has vowed to protect him from impeachment. At the same time, South Korea’s main labour union has called for an indefinite strike until Yoon resigns. The 1.2 million-member Korean Confederation of Trade Unions accused Yoon of an “irrational and anti-democratic measure”, saying he had “declared the end of (his) own power”.
Come Sunday, Yoon will probably be in the market for a new job.
South African snack favourites that have disappeared (and some that came back!)
SA’s snack aisle is looking a little lonelier these days. Some of our favourite items have quietly disappeared – from breakfast staples to nostalgic sweets. Recently, Bokomo confirmed the discontinuation of Maltabella porridge and Bokomo Rusks, while other iconic treats have been MIA for years. But don’t despair just yet—sometimes, public outcry has been loud enough to bring these goodies back!
Here’s a list of disappearing snacks that will stir your appetite, spark nostalgia, and maybe even inspire a bit of hope for a comeback.
🔹 Hellmann’s Mayonnaise: Back by popular demand!
In February 2023, Hellmann’s mayonnaise was delisted in South Africa due to low demand and sky-high import costs. But loyal mayo fans weren’t having it. Pick n Pay took up the challenge, sourcing the creamy condiment from overseas suppliers. And now it’s back on shelves in all its 800g and 400g glory.
🔹 Candy Cigarettes
Remember pretending to be James Bond with a candy cigarette between your fingers? These sugary sticks were the ultimate playground accessory, but they disappeared when public health concerns became a hot topic. While they’re not making a return anytime soon, they remain a sugary icon of childhood rebellion.
🔹 Peppermint Crisp (Almost Gone!)
Peppermint Crisp sparked panic in 2021 when rumours swirled about its potential discontinuation. Thankfully, the hysteria was just over a temporary shortage, and this beloved chocolate bar (essential for Peppermint Crisp Tart) remains on shelves. Still, we’re keeping an eye out, just in case.
🔹 Honorable Mentions: The snacks we still miss
Here’s a quick roll call for the other dearly departed: Yes/No Bars, Steers-flavoured Simba Chips, Lays Salt and Vinegar chips and Bubbaloo gum.
And don’t even get us started on Nesquik! If any of these ever return, expect another nationwide celebration.
If there is one takeaway from this list, it is to never underestimate South African snack lovers. Whether we’re signing petitions, rallying on social media, or sweet-talking local suppliers, we’ll never let our favourites go quietly.
Let’s just hope Bokomo is paying attention. Who knows? Maltabella might be the next Hellmann’s.
Biden’s shock pardoning of son Hunter has shaken his legacy.
Has US President Joe Biden irrevocably tarnished his legacy?
On Sunday, he announced a sweeping pardon for his son, Hunter Biden, erasing convictions for gun and tax offences and shielding him from future federal charges.
With this act, Biden upended his promises of judicial non-interference and drew comparisons to Donald Trump, who famously wielded the pardon power as a political tool. He issued nearly 80 in his final hours as president previously, many to close allies.
Hunter Biden, 54, was convicted earlier this year of illegally purchasing a firearm while struggling with addiction and pleaded guilty to failing to pay over $1.4 million in taxes. His lavish spending on escorts, drugs, and luxury items damaged his case—and public image.
Hunter was set to face the music this December. Instead, his dad pulled the ultimate presidential privilege: a full and unconditional pardon.
This blanket clemency doesn’t just cover Hunter’s current convictions; it wipes the slate clean for any federal offences he may have committed from 2014 to 2024. This period included controversial overseas business dealings, such as his role on the board of Ukrainian gas company Burisma. Critics, especially Trump and his allies, have long accused Hunter of exploiting his father’s political clout.
It’s quite the u-turn. Even after Trump’s election win last month, Biden assured Americans he wouldn’t issue a pardon. But over Thanksgiving weekend, with family ties no doubt tugging at his heartstrings, he changed his mind.
Biden justified his decision by claiming his son was unfairly targeted for political reasons. “No reasonable person who looks at the facts…can reach any other conclusion than Hunter was singled out only because he is my son,” he said.
It’s true that Hunter Biden’s legal troubles began in 2018 with a probe launched by Trump-appointed prosecutor David Weiss. However, federal judges have previously dismissed claims that Hunter was being targeted, calling them “nonsensical under the facts.”
What’s next? All eyes are on President-elect Trump, who has already vowed to “investigate and prosecute” the Biden family in 2025. Buckle up—it’s going to be a wild ride.
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That’s it from us at The Wrap, an award-winning product of explain.co.za – simple news summaries for busy people. 💁🏾♀
The Wrap is sponsored by explain’s agency division. We specialise in content marketing for purpose-driven organisations, often with a pan-African reach. Mail info@explain.co.za for a quote.
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